5 Things I'm Excited About This Year

Following the series of emotionally and mentally depleting events of what was 2017, 2018 came into my life riding a different wave. It wasn't precisely negative or positive, rather felt like something I could handle.

This is a year I have full control over.

That's what I will continue to tell myself: you have control.

I have control over my life and over this year.

Life is a constant motion of struggle and winning, nothing begins and ends with the New Year, but it may serve as the opportunity marker. We're 3 months into the year, and although this year has already managed to feel like a lifetime, we still have 9-ish more of them. Here are 5 things I'm excited for this year

A New Hope

Last year was a year that cannot be forgotten. It was full of tragedy and loss of optimism. Feelings were obscured by the overly saturated sex and abuse scandals, a fascist police force and, of course, the dicta--presidency of Donald Trump.

Saying "let's forget all of it and start fresh" is both privileged and denial. Let's start rallying more. Let's start protesting more. Let's start creating more art. Believe in the youth. Believe in each other. This year is promising.

EDIT: Words can't express the pride I feel towards teenagers like Emma Gonzales, who is pioneering towards gun legislation laws.

Let us never forget the lives that have been lost under USA's injustice.

Understanding Independence

I never went away for college. Growing up where I have makes staying home feel slightly awkward. I've always lived in the same city in the same state around the same people. Although I would never take back my decision of staying home, it comes attached with a lot of dependency and burdens.

At age 20 I feel so motivated and ready to understand how I react and thrive in a different setting without the comfort of my family and friends.

Being set free in a different country, living among a new and exciting culture and living in my own apartment with strangers on the same boat makes my situation all the more comforting.

I am excited to learn the prospect of living for myself.

I will grow spiritually and mentally.

Living Abroad

Although I've been living in Italy for 2 months now, I'm excited to recall the tender and harsh realities of moments abroad. The immense hard work my parents exert to provide for my family has allowed me to do a lot of traveling. I've always been at their side, and that is where the difference lies: I am completely on my own. That sounds dark. It's not that awful. I don't have anyone reminding me each day to "keep my head up" anymore, but it's great too. I've learned to become my own cheerleader.

Traveling

A luxury I am privileged enough to have. I am prepared to utilize my time studying abroad with travel. I will learn about corners of Europe that I have always wanted to see. This year I will gain a wider and broader understanding of other people's worlds. This summer is the World Cup and because soccer is so embedded in Latin American culture, my father is taking us all to Russia. RUSSIA. Russia looks unreal, the palaces, the castles, the buildings..the language? What even is that. I hope to occupy my summer with lots of work and pockets of trips to cities around me: New York City, Boston, Philly. Maybe I'll take Valeria Jr. (my car) on a little road trip too.

Man, this year is going to be great.

Creating More

It is a truth universally acknowledged that school stifles creativity. Even if you are a creative attending creative classes with other creatives... there seems to never be enough time or drive.

I love developing ideas into physical, tangible things. With my jobs and heavy university schedule, dedicating time out of my day to create art and write has proven difficult. This year I will change that. I will do more self and worldly exploration. I will step out of my comfort zone and I will express myself in ways I never thought possible. I am going to apply myself harder and I will learn self-care in the process. I will read all the words in all the books I keep putting off and I will write more. My one true love is putting words on paper and oh how we have been estranged.

I'm coming for you baby.

Learning Self-care

This is something in which I will never fail myself. 2017 gave me a colossal reality check: I need constant approval from my family, friends, peers, teachers and (honestly) anyone I am close to. It is like I am unable to fathom others not liking me-- what the hell, what's not to like in the first place?

It's okay. Take a breath. Digest that some people's opinions do not define you.

I have a hard time adjusting to criticism. It's not the receiving end of it, but it's the anxiety aspect. I overthink why someone would not like something I have created and make it personal. The majority of the time it's not personal. But hey, if it is, that is okay too. Not everyone is going to like you, people have interests and opinions and sometimes they don't align with yours, and that is okay.

I must stop placing my self worth in others hands. It is mine to nourish and grow.